Naughty Friday funny–Counting the pennies

The couple had been happily married for 50 years.

The husband contacted the newspaper regarding an obituary.

When informed of the cost, the man uttered, in true Yorkshire fashion, “HOW bloody much? !!!”

He reluctantly produced his wallet.

“I want summat simple” he explained. “My Gladys was a good-hearted, hard-working Yorkshire lass but she wun’t ‘ave wanted ‘owt swanky.”

“Perhaps a small poem,” suggested the woman at the desk.

“Nay,” he said, “she wun’t ‘ave wanted anything la-di-da.  Just put, ‘Gladys Braithwaite died’.”

“You need to say when”, he was told by the receptionist.

“Do I?  Well, put ‘Died 17th Jan 2016’.  That’ll do”.

It is usual for the bereaved to add some meaningful phrase about the dearly departed.”

The man considered for a moment. “Well, put in ‘Sadly missed’. That’ll do”, he said.

“You can have another four words,” the woman explained.

“No, no.” he cried, “She wun’t ‘ave wanted me to splash out.”

“The words are included in the price,” the woman informed him.

“Are they? You mean I’ve paid for ’em?”

“Yes, indeed.”

“Well, if I’ve paid for ’em, I’m ‘avin ’em”.

The obituary was duly printed as follows:

‘Gladys Braithwaite – Died, 17th January 2016. Sadly missed. Also Tractor for sale.

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4 thoughts on “Naughty Friday funny–Counting the pennies

  1. I found this poignantly funny, as we had a similar discussion over my mother’s gravestone. My father, who has no imagination let alone poetry in his soul, wanted to just put Mom’s name and dates of birth and death on the stone. The kind woman helping us with the sale said we could put up to 6 additional words on it, whereupon Dad and I launched into an argument about what those words should be. I suggested something simple, like “Beloved wife, mother, grandmother.” My father however demanded I compose a haiku (as if! in six words!) to write on the stone. I finally said, “Well, if you want a six-word poem, YOU write it.” I won that one, of course: but I still puzzle over whether it would have been possible to compose a six-word poem. The stuff that has sprung to mind unfortunately has not been fit to recite in a family setting.

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