Not sure that this is a genuine Aussie bloke. Way too articulate.
An Aussie bloke named Anthony had just finished reading a new book entitled, You Can Be THE MAN of Your House.
He stormed to his wife in the kitchen and announced, "From now on, you need to know that I am THE MAN of this house and my word is Law. You’ll prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, and when I’m finished eating my meal, you’ll serve me a sumptuous dessert.
After dinner, we’re going upstairs and we’ll have the kind of sex that I want.
Afterwards, you’re going to draw me a bath so I can relax.
You’ll wash my back and towel me dry and bring me my robe. Then, you’ll massage my feet and hands. Then tomorrow, guess who’s going to dress me and comb my hair?"
His Aussie Missus Nancy replied, "The f!!!king funeral director would be my first guess".