Tall tales and True from TP – The white shag

When Hammersley Iron was looking to recruit employees in the late 60s, and more importantly retain them, they had to make conditions the best they could for the things within their control. To this end they provided married folk with fully air-conditioned furnished modern housing with big house blocks and a nursery where most plants cost 10 cents. In those days water ( that’s bore water ) was freely available so gardening was a popular past time and the township became a green oasis in the shimmering red arid landscape.

The company also had a very active parks and gardens focus so wide areas were set aside to green up the center of town. It worked beautifully. The standard grass employed was couch and it turned out to love the hot climate as long as you kept the water up to it. If you added fertilizer to it you had a lush green lawn that needed a mow every couple of days and on more than one occasion an employee would “borrow” some ampho explosive to top dress the lawn for stunning results.

Of course the traditional human game of “oneupmanship” was actively pursued and with folk on excellent wages, the sky was the limit. With the houses being furnished by the Company, we had the same brand of furnishings across the town so shipping up a fancy lounge room ensemble the 1,000 kilometers from Perth was not unheard of.

But one chap very nearly set the gold standard by ordering white shag pile carpet for the lounge room.

The Company provided a type of linoleum tile flooring which could be buffed to a high gloss. It was easily cleaned which was a real asset because folk would sometimes come home from a day at the open cut mine with a blue sheen from the iron ore dust that mixed with their sweat. Invariably the trip from the front door to the bathroom dislodged some dust on the way through.

As a consequence, few people had carpet and those that did tended towards the more practical low profile, easily cleaned style. What better way to leap into the oneupmanship lead than a totally white impractical heavy shag pile carpet?

The carpet was duly ordered and shipped up from Perth and installed. The rule in polite company was to leave your shoes at the door and this was strictly enforced. So far so good. Then the house proud owner had a brainwave. How about a house warming party to celebrate the new carpet and also draw attention to his new status symbol?

The party was planned and the guests arrived. The host hovered over his guests as the time honoured tradition was followed of getting totally smashed in as quick a time as possible. Shoes were discarded on arrival and plates of nibblies were carefully manoeuvred around the room. It was all going to plan.

Until.

One of his mates who was leading the race towards getting totally stone motherless, found the beer was in furious argument with whatever he had had for lunch. A technicolour yawn was fast approaching but he had a plan. The place was crowded but he managed to place himself right next to the lounge room window so things were under some form of control. He knew what to do.

Unfortunately his host spied him across the room and charged through the crowd, grabbed his arm, and assisted him outside the house. On the face of it, it was a good plan except that his inebriated friend was so far gone he wasn’t fully aware of his location. As the eruption approached he spied the window and thoughtfully staggered to it and dropped the contents of his stomach through the window right on to the white shag pile carpet. Impressive.

I guess it was inevitable that some disaster would befall the status symbol over time but this event was very early, very public and very permanent.

Advertisements

6 thoughts on “Tall tales and True from TP – The white shag

  1. Oh NICE! Shag carpeting always got disgusting no matter how clean you tried to keep it: the stuff was a natural dirt magnet and never let go of stains easily.

    But if the homeowner has any sense he would have served the food and drink outside, and let the guests wander in occasionally to admire the rug. People spill stuff. It’s just a fact of life. And if they insist on guzzling alcohol while eating enough food to choke a horse, they will um, yes, technicolor waterfall and all that.

    One acquaintance who enjoyed throwing alcohol-fueled pool parties kept an oil barrel lined with a plastic garbage bag just for those little accidents. Unfortunately there was always one guest who never made it to the barrel in time, so it was just smart to leave before the drinking got too heavy. :p

    1. There were plenty of folk from the shallow end of the gene pool HG and Sesame Street was a new invention so “Think what happens next” was only just getting around.

      Mind you, some of the nicest and most generous folk lived there too but they tended not to be found in the rubbity dub.

  2. Awesome! Whosoever insists the folly of white shag carpeting, get what they deserve.

    1. Poetic justice. 🙂

  3. What a great story! The host should’ve just let him be. The carpet would’ve been spared.

    1. Ta. Two good intentions cancelled each other out. There was always going to be a problem at some time.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this:
search previous next tag category expand menu location phone mail time cart zoom edit close