My frequent use of slang in my blog has often sent non-Aussies off to “The Big G” in an attempted to discover what I am waffling on about but Google does have it’s limits and a proper definition is required for the correct usage and meaning of the word Bastard.
It wasn’t until I visited Ireland that I appreciated just how different language can be in other English speaking countries. Both in meaning and pronunciation. Everywhere we went in Ireland we seemed to hear the word Fook. Be it a teenager, a Dad or a Mum or even little old ladies, the word was in common usage. At first we were a bit taken aback but then realised it is far removed from it’s origins and basically is a replacement for the phrase “My goodness gracious me”.
Reflecting on this I thought it might be time to explain to potential travellers to Australia what they are in for when they land here and nip in the bud any unintended offense.
In some countries it seems the state of wedlock of your parents at the time of your birth (or even conception) is important to your station in life but in Oz we don’t much care for that information. We are not responsible for our parents activities and being blessed with a little bundle of joy is generally good news unless you have a severe drug habit or are in your early to mid teens. When your particular God gives the okay doesn’t count for much if at all.
What Aussies do appreciate though, is the sensitivity of other folk (read Poms or more specifically the Stuck Up ones) to this important genealogical information so the chance to annoy these sensitive types has always been embraced.
Hence the evolving of the word Bastard. Initially it was used to shock value but has since progressed into a form where an accompanying word is required to decide if you have been insulted or complimented. To this end I offer the following examples.
If you are called
- a Happy Bastard: you are humourless and generally not on the A list for parties. You have my sympathies if not my company.
- a Sad Bastard: you are unskilled and not to be trusted with power tools. A particularly insulting term if applied by other males from your peer group.
- a Sneaky Bastard: this needs more information. If delivered by someone you beat to the last beer it’s an insult but if applied by a fellow conspirator when you have successfully taken down a Pommy Bastard it is high praise indeed.
- a Bloody Bastard: an ancient application of the term that shows lack of adjectival imagination. Rarely used.
- a Dumb Bastard: you have just done something silly. Not necessarily insulting unless applied often. If used regularly you will graduate to a Sad Bastard when being talked about.
- a Funny Bastard: an expression of unhappiness. You have just taken advantage of me and a further offense will not be welcomed. (This is a warning shot that means cease and desist or get your skates on.)
- a Dirty Bastard: Please do not urinate in my unattended beer can again. This is a positive statement if delivered by peer group males who observed the action but a negative if offered by the can owner.
- a Pommy Bastard: formerly a standard insult but often used as a term of endearment. If used after you have suffered 3 rd degree burns from going out in the sun topless it’s a sympathetic term. After losing to Australia in a cricket match it’s a good natured ribbing and if used after beating the Aussies at cricket it’s a well deserved insult.
- a Fooking Bastard: you are in no way a gentleman and the marital status of your parents at the time of your conception is highly suspect.
This covers the more common usage of the word. My fellow Bloggers will probably have further usages that I welcome them to expand upon.