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Wonderful piss take of a deserving industry.

The (un)Australian


An absolute waste of atoms has heroically pushed his way through the crowd at the site of a horrific accident to administer some wellness to the seriously injured victim.

“Stand aside everyone, I’m a qualified wellness blogger,” said grade a knob Digby Milligan as he shoved his way past a lecturer in first aid and an off duty brain surgeon to lend his inexpertise to a man crushed by a falling grand piano in a Sydney street. “Space… I need space to administer life saving mind and body nourishment.”

“I was thinking maybe the poor guy needed someone to apply some pressure on his artery to stem the blood loss and a splint on his crushed legs,” said bystander and registered nurse Denise Bluthal. “But apparently his most urgent need was a cleansing detox and a better life balance between happiness and spirituality.”

Milligan, who claims to have cured himself…

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The grim future facing the Coal industry has had a surprising outcome in the “Jobs for the Boys” scenario, and I think it means a fundamental change in the usual process.

Up until now the deal was to secure the Coal industry while in politics, then imageretire to a comfy office in the Minerals Council of Australia when you come out into the real world. A healthy income stream plus benefits, backed up by your pollie pension. Joining an elite club untroubled by power or food prices.

But the rapidly collapsing market for Coal, and the ever increasing affordability of Renewable Energy is putting pressure on the MCA. So much so that it had to Keane: Minerals Council boss Brendan Pearson departs - Crikeyremove their CEO, Brendan Pearson, because BHP and Rio demanded a less aggressive stance over Carbon emissions. They had to make that change or risk losing their valuable contributions, but even so, those two major players will likely leave in any case. Quite possibility this year. You simply can’t back Coal and claim environmental responsibility. There aren’t enough spin doctors on Earth One to pull that off.

Now we did see Helen Coonan (a former Liberal Minister) follow the traditional Helen Coonanpath recently when she was appointed Chair at the MCA after the last election, but lately the movement has been in the opposite direction, and particularly into the Prime Minister’s Office. We now have John Kunkel as Scott’s Chief of Staff, and Brendan Pearson as a Senior Advisor. Others are floating back and forth between the two bodies.

If there is a better example of an echo chamber, I don’t know of it.

It’s all looking like bad news for the Aussie taxpayer. Morrison is so hell bent on not conceding Renewable Energy as a cost effective and flexible option, that he is now even considering the expensive Nuclear option. Sure it doesn’t have CO2 emissions when it finally becomes productive after 15 years, but at what cost? It currently costs about 3 times as much as Renewables and it’s cost keeps rising while the competition keeps falling.

Will this new trend into government continue? I think so. The MCA can’t help but shrink in size as they lose members, so hiding ex-pollies in back offices is harder to achieve with a shrinking income. That makes keeping a few “on the books” that much harder to achieve. Also the incentives have to be shorter term now the MCA’s long term future is in doubt, and that makes them harder to hide. Already we are seeing a steady procession of compromised pollies being dealt with in the courts overseas as the Coal companies suffer greater scrutiny. It’s unlikely that the Aussie producers are any more law abiding than their overseas associates.


Helen Coonan appointed Minerals Council chair – ABC News

Former coal industry boss is Scott Morrison’s chief of staff – RenewEconomy

Lobbyist who provided Morrison’s lump of coal joins PM’s advisory team – RenewEconomy

Queensland Coalition MPs push for inquiry to lift Australia’s nuclear power ban
– The Guardian

Mt Everest

When Hilary Clinton was aiming to win the US Presidency, the world watched in fascination to see if American’s were able to vote for someone who wasn’t a rich white bloke twice in a row. After all, they had already voted for Barack Obama, so one challenge had been met, and we were interested to See the source imagesee if the gender challenge could also be overcome. History shows us it was a bridge too far, but the use of the term “deplorables” by the 67th Secretary of State, Clinton, secured the outcome for the now President Trump.

After the post mortems were done and dusted, it was generally considered, in Australia at least, that using the term “deplorables” was a rookie mistake. A harsh outcome, but the fact remains that a woman aspiring for high office has to be perfect where blokes can just muddle through.

Fast forward to Australia’s recent federal election, and we now have our own version of the “deplorables” in the well intentioned, but ultimately destructive, anti Adani caravan.

The most glaring error has to be a publicity stunt that didn’t bring a message of hope for those who currently make their living See the source imagefrom Coal. It personalised the problem, challenged the locals directly, and even worse than that, it was aimed at the wrong people. Those with the least amount of power to effect change.

With the luxury of hindsight, Bob’s caravan should have been directed at whichever Financial centre is most involved in providing a lifeline to the troubled Coal mine. Those with the power to end this environmentally damaging project. This should not be news to Bob and the Greens because there has already been great success in discouraging financial houses from supporting Adani with even the US’s Rothschild and Co walking away from the troubled miner recently.

Since the election, I have heard The Green’s Di Natali saying publicly that he is proud of the result because they held their existing seats, but that’s an extremely low bar for measuring success in my view. In an election with a reputed high level focus on the Environment, I would have thought their aspirations of winning 4 more seats would have been an easy target. Simply holding their own suggests that they are not viewed as a viable option to bring about change.

I can’t imagine Aussies no longer want to see the end of the Adani Coal mine, and I still think it’s chance of getting up and running are very thin, but it See the source imagelooks like The Greens are not going to be the powerhouse they believe themselves to be. The end of the Adani mine will come about due to economic reality, and the efforts of many different groups working together.

I guess there is always the possibility that The Greens will learn from this misadventure and realise they have to be offering a way forward, the way they used to operate when education used to be their focus, but if they really are as happy as Richard Di Natali claims, then we could be looking at a Senate that has already reached Peak Green.


Rothschild withdraws from advising Adani on Australia coal project – Reuters

On the road with Bob Brown’s Stop Adani Convoy: Hobart to Clermont – in pictures – Guardian Australia

Mixed Greens’ result disappoints, but could deliver Senate balance of power – SMH

Science shows us that humans and dinosaurs did not share Earth, with the gap between us and them somewhere around an impressive 60 million years. But political science shows us that is not totally accurate. If you are thinking this is a Jurassic Park post you are almost correct in so far as the born again dinosaurs are not housed on Isla Nublar, but inSee the source image the Coalition party rooms of our federal parliament.

Rather worryingly, just as in Michael Crichton’s forsaken theme park, the modern day dinosaurs are mixing freely with the human population with disastrous results.

Dinosaurs (at least the original ones) know all about global warming having been run out of town by a meteor strike that cranked up temperatures and killed off their food sources, but modern day dinosaurs have lost the art of reading Science and can’t make the connection between our behaviour and destabilised weather patterns.

Luckily we don’t need another meteor strike and runaway temperature rises to save the planet from these modern day dinosaurs. We humans have the power to defeat them with a small piece of paper and a primitive pencil in the polling booth.

See the source imageDon’t want to follow the dinosaurs into extinction? Send the born again dinosaurs to the Sky News retirement village where they can complain bitterly to the rest of the echo chamber. Almost totally removed from Australian society. Meanwhile the rest of us can transition to our new low carbon economy quickly and get on with business. It doesn’t have to be a long drawn out change process if you vote for folk who can manage the transition, and are eager to bring it on.

In preparation of his looming unemployment, and with more mouths to feed courtesy of his extra family, Barnaby Joyce is calling for funds to study buildingSee the source image Still suits (as featured in the Dune series of novels) in his electorate. “With a huge injection of funds, possibly from that wasteful Greenie Water management program, I can set up and manage a jobs program that extends from the successful eradication of all wildlife in the region” he said. “We are already having great success at killing off the fish and it’s just a natural progression to import some sand worms after desertification is complete” he added.

When quizzed about sourcing the beasts from Arrakis, the forward looking pollie said “a further feasibility may be required at that point, but Trust Me, I have a gut feeling it will all work out fine, and what would those interfering Scientists know about a fictitious planet in any case?”

“In the mean time,” he added, “we need to develop those Still suits for the population to reduce their water usage and survive the higher temperatures. Gina needs it for her mines and we can’t be throwing it around like some bloody cotton grower, unless they are going to kick into campaign funding of course.”

With little interest being shown by anyone else for the idea, Mr Joyce has offered himself up as the most suitable person to run the enterprise. “I’ll soon be available for the role with the next Election due in May, and I already have runs on the board with the current fish culling. Add to that my ability to source government funds for other crazy ideas, and I’d be tough to beat”, he offered.

Initially Scott Morrison was cool to the idea, but after a closed door discussion in which some vague threat of “Doing a Turnbull” was issued, sources close to the PM believe he is coming around. This was both confirmed and denied later when the PM was asked directly and mumbled something about “looking into the proposal but was agnostic about the tech to be involved”. In Canberra, that is seen as a Yes after that pesky election is over and done with.

Relief was expressed in Liberal HQ today over the alleged sighting of the Environment Minister Melissa Wotsername. Claimed sightings of the Minister have been rarer than sightings of the Night Parrot, so we probably should not get too excited. Even scat deposits remain undetected since she was appointed to top up the female quota in the Liberal party.melissa and scott

There have been a number of suggestions that search teams should be focussing on her traditional stamping ground deep in a mine, but apart from an empty office with her name engraved on the door, cobwebs on the coffee machine, and a sign reading “I’ll be back after the next Federal Election”, sceptics remain unconvinced that foul play has not been visited upon her.

But tenuous evidence has surfaced in the form of a feasibility study into developing a Coal powered motor vehicle industry. With the Nationals denying it’s theirs but offering to buy/take ownership of the study, the list of possible suspects is very thin indeed. A spokesperson for Scott Morrison believes “this is the strongest lead we have so far that the Honourable Minister is indeed still in the land of the living. She is still drawing her pay, but as we have seen before, fraudsters can simply dispose of the body but keep using the Credit card to throw off investigators.”

A Canberra insider who did not wish to be named is unconcerned. “She’s apples,” said Chris P*ne. “Melissa is just following orders. Scott gave her the job and said keep our Environmental policy under wraps. Taking that to heart and not wanting to stuff up if some rude reporter asks a question, she took the obvious step of keeping her head down. I just wish she had taken Barnaby with her.” he said.

I especially like the Harry Potter references. Dutton looks a lot like Voldemort.

The (un)Australian


Minister for the Dark Arts Peter Dutton has been seen wandering the halls of parliament telling colleagues that he is confident that he has the numbers to roll recently elected NSW Premier Gladys Berejiklian and take her job.

“Peter is quietly confident that he can take Premier Berejiklian in a spill, as his trusty man servant Matthias Cormann has been crunching the numbers for him,” said a Party Insider. “With a looming hard fought federal election on the horizon Lord Dutton does need a good escape plan should his kingdom of Dickson fall.”

When reached for comment Minister Dutton said of his rumoured challenge: “I don’t speak of pending parliamentary matters. I congratulate the NSW Premier Gladys Berejiklian on winning the election despite a strong attack from Labor.”

“I do admit I was surprised she won given that genius attack move that the Labor guy used by attacking the Asians…

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Captain Marvel 3D vs 4D

The arrival of the movie Captain Marvel in 4D gave me the opportunity to see this flick in both 3D and 4D formats and it’s surprising how different the See the source imageexperience was.

For those unaware of the 4D system it has moving seats, wind, water sprays. and lightening displays on the roof. Awesome fun.

Firstly, it’s an excellent flick with a great cast and plenty of laughs and it starts with a wonderful tribute to Stan Lee. It’s also action packed so 4D was going to enhance the action if done right.

As a person who checks out all the Marvel flicks, I really appreciate the Easter eggs that get worked into the story and that’s why I went to the second viewing. Checking out how many I missed in the first viewing. I guess that might mark me as a geek but with only 2 viewings, that ranks as a trainee geek measured against the hard core (who enthusiastically claim to have watched it a million times).

That depth of detail means that the Director has a mountain of information to impart to the viewers but it has to be done so it appeals beyond the dedicated fans, and I reckon it achieves that going by the audience reaction.

I see a few 3D flicks and the use of that format varies widely. Sometimes there is minimal effort applied while other times its a rich experience. Captain Marvel is one of the better ones in this respect. It has a lot of flying and 3D projection screens so the graphics designers had a real day out. Imagine that being your day job!!

Where the 4D component comes into it’s own is the action sequences on top of the 3D effects. When 2 space craft come up from behind and pass right by your ear, the blasts of wind in your face really make the most of it. Similarly, when there is a car crash, the buffeting of your seat really catches your attention. So much so that when I had the 3D viewing I hardly noticed the crash. I’m still thinking about why the flyby was still impressive while the car crash wasn’t.

Finally, the style of the seating made a lot of difference to me which has nothing to do with the visual impact. The 4D is basically a lounge chair, while the 3D was in an aging country cinema where I’d probably be more comfortable in a bean bag. (Not an option in my local).

4D wins hands down for me. It more fully engages you in the action and is great fun when you take someone along who hasn’t tried it before. On the down side, it costs a little more, but my Senior’s discount, plus joining the cinema loyalty scheme, takes a healthy lump out of the overall price.

I’ll still be going to 3D in the local though, it’s only 20 minutes away while we have to drive about an hour and a half into Melbourne for 4D. Luckily it’s on our side of Melbourne. Had it been on the other side I probably wouldn’t have tried it yet.



4D definition Wikipedia

Love this one. Talk about an equal opportunity slag off. 🤗

The (un)Australian


The Australian Greens have today called for the immediate banning of the traditional Election day sausage sizzle, saying that it is highly insensitive to vegetarians and the phallic nature of the sausage is intimidatory towards female voters.

A spokesperson for the greens explained the call to ban the sausage to The (un)Australian saying: “For too long voters have been forced to endure children trying to foist a sausage on people as they line up to vote, the smell of burning dead animals is horrific and then you’re confronted with this giant phallic symbol, it’s too much I just want to vote damn it and aggressively push my Green party how to vote card on other voters..”

When we raised the issue of the election day sausage sizzle being a great way for schools and community groups to raise funds the spokesperson responded by saying: “They could sell tofu or salad…

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