Posted in Church, Humour, Politics, religion, Tee shirt, Zazzle | 2 Comments »
Little Zachary was doing very badly in math. His parents had tried everything – tutors, mentors, flash cards, special learning centers. In short, everything they could think of to help his math. Finally, in a last ditch effort, they took Zachary down and enrolled him in the local Catholic school.
After the first day, little Zachary came home with a very serious look on his face. He didn’t even kiss his mother hello. Instead, he went straight to his room and started studying. Books and papers were spread out all over the room and little Zachary was hard at work. His mother was amazed. She called him down to dinner. To her shock, the minute he was done, he marched back to his room without a word, and in no time, he was back hitting the books as hard as before.
This went on for some time, day after day, while the mother tried to understand what made all the difference. Finally, little Zachary brought home his report card. He quietly laid it on the table, went up to his room and hit the books. With great trepidation, His Mom looked at it and to her great surprise, Little Zachary got an “A” in math. She could no longer hold her curiosity.
She went to his room and said, “Son, what was it? Was it the nuns?”
Little Zachary looked at her and shook his head, no.
“Well then,” she replied, “Was it the books, the discipline, the structure, the uniforms? WHAT WAS IT?”
Little Zachary looked at her and said, “Well, on the first day of school when I saw that guy nailed to the plus sign, I knew they weren’t mucking around.”
Posted in Friday Funny, Humour | Tagged friday funny, humour | Leave a Comment »
Not so long ago Michael Kroger made a bit of a dick of himself while paying out Peter Costello on Jon Faine’s radio program. Actually he made a series of comments that undermined and probably destroyed his once powerful position as a power broker in the Liberal Party, but the one that caught my eye was that our friend Tony is a Rhodes Scholar so he can’t be easily dismissed as a bit of a dill. (Or words to that effect).
That got me thinking about what this type of claim actually means so it was off to Wiki for a drill down on Tony’s history. I thought he may have an Arts degree (either in basket weaving or bullshitting) or perhaps some religious thing masquerading as a degree.
I was partly right as far as the Arts component goes except the qualification is Master of Arts (MA) in Politics and Philosophy. Oxford Uni. His aussie quals are a Bachelor of Economics (BEc) and a Bachelor of Laws from Sydney Uni.
Okay. At some stage this bloke has been able to apply himself to his studies but that leaves us with quite a puzzle as to what went wrong along the way.
On the Economics side he has shown no ability that his studies would suggest he should be capable of. He is unable to construct an alternate budget with the help of Sloppy Joe and even incapable of attacking a Labor budget. When his chances have arisen he immediately goes for personal attacks rather than hard data. Even worse, his financial plan going into the last Election fell in a big black hole and worse again, he tried to bluster his way out when that was exposed.
Tony might just be the first Liberal in a long time to believe in the Magic Pudding as an adult.
On Political nous it’s even more peculiar. On a regular basis he will reverse a position held the previous day because the audience has changed. He will come to Horsham and tell farmers he is their best friend then turn around at a different meeting and promise to trash the National Broadband Network.
All this in a political climate where folk claim they hate pollies who will say anything to get voted in.
This second point is worrying from the aspect that Tony may think the Voters are easily tricked and of course a handful are this gullible, but looking at his figures in the Polls, it doesn’t look like you can fool all the people all the time. When the Election comes around and the Polls tighten up as they always do, Tony has to present himself as the alternative PM and having a clue will be important.
It leaves me wondering about how smart Tony actually is. There are academics out there who are brilliant at exams but hardly capable of getting in out of the rain. That’s fine if you work in a sheltered environment but Government is the real world and Voters need to trust you to really commit their vote. It’s not looking good for Tony.
Being the Liberal equivalent of Mark Latham is no doubt fun but have you ever seen a poll suggesting Mark should replace the current PM? It’s so silly it isn’t even tested.
Tony may have the bits of paper but does he have the smarts? If he has he has done a brilliant job at playing dumb.
Posted in Aussie, Politics, Tee shirt, Zazzle | Tagged Aussie politics, Tony Abbott, Zazzle | Leave a Comment »
For those who may have missed the message.
Every day we see Tony declaring (praying for) more bad news, but luckily his God is simply not that mean spirited. Tony’s confident prediction of the Gillard Government not being able to survive 6 months has well and truly passed it’s use by date and in all likelihood will go the full distance.
Can we really stand listening to him whining about wanting a new election for another 18 months? By the look of the Polls, the Voters aren’t too keen on him already and I can’t imagine him talking his way into a better position. Serial whining just isn’t a winning tactic.
The really bad news for Tony is the only green visible in the Liberal Premiers is the Voters who voted them in believing they would protect the environment. Ted is trashing environmental policies every week and he looks soft compared to Campbell in Queensland who seems to have taken the proverbial bulldozer to anything with even a slightly green tinge. If that doesn’t trouble the Voters it bloody well should do especially in Queensland where the Great Barrier Reef faces shipping even within protected areas.
No wonder Tony is in a hurry.
So to commemorate Tony’s plight I have whipped up this Tee shirt on Zazzle. If I can do anything to assist folk understanding his message then it has to be good for Oz.
Posted in Aussie, Climate Change, Global Warming, Politics | Tagged Aussie politics, Tony Abbott, Zazzle | 2 Comments »
Posted in Aussie | 1 Comment »
An Arab Sheik was admitted to St Vincents Hospital for heart surgery, but
prior to the surgery, the doctors needed to store his blood in case the need arose.
As the gentleman had a rare type of blood, it couldn’t be found locally, so, the
call went out to all the world.
Finally a Scot was located who had a similar blood type. The Scot willingly
donated his blood for the Arab.
After the surgery, the Arab sent the Scotsman as appreciation for giving his
blood,a new BMW, diamonds & US dollars.
A couple of days later, once again, the Arab had to go through a corrective
surgery. His doctor telephoned the Scotsman who was more than happy to
donate his blood again.
After the second surgery, the Arab sent the Scotsman a thank-you card & a
jar of lollies.
The Scotsman was shocked that the Arab this time did not reciprocate his
kind gesture as he had anticipated. He phoned the Arab & asked him: "I thought you would be generous again, that you would give me a BMW, diamonds & money… But you only gave me a thank-you card & a jar of lollies".
To this the Arab replied: "Aye, but I now have Scottish blood in my veins".
Posted in Friday Funny, Humour | Tagged friday funny, humour | 7 Comments »
A woman and a baby were in the doctor’s examining room, waiting for the
Doctor to come in for the baby’s first exam.
The doctor arrived, and examined the baby, checked his weight, and being a little concerned, asked if the baby was breast-fed or bottle-fed.
‘Breast-fed,’ she replied…
‘Well, strip down to your waist,’ the doctor ordered.
She did. He pinched her nipples, pressed, kneaded, and rubbed both breasts for a while in a very professional and detailed examination.
Motioning to her to get dressed, the doctor said, ‘No wonder this baby is
underweight. You don’t have any milk.’
‘I know,’ she said, ‘I’m his Grandma, but I’m glad I came.’
Posted in Friday Funny, Humour | Tagged friday funny, humour | 2 Comments »
